Vali's Death
Source: PDE
I feel the pressure of every heartbeat
As I picture my next great feat
Head poked out from behind a tree
Vali's back faced towards me
One quick strike is all I need
To finish off Sugriva's deed
Is this right? Should I kill?
To me, there's no ill will.
Once Sugriva is back as he king
He has promised to help find my Queen
Oh Sita! This burden, I am willing to bare
For you to lose your youth to this, is simply just not fair.
One deep breath to center me
And one the count of three:
One, Two, Three...
Thump.
I never thought I would reach so low,
This will be my only woe.....
Author's Note: So, I wanted to give Rama more context in this. This moment was very controversial for his character, so I wanted to take a deeper dive into what he was feeling. Was there hesitation? Was there regret? His character is made out to be so pure, but anything can happen as he's grieving for the return of Sita.
Source: PDE
I feel the pressure of every heartbeat
As I picture my next great feat
Head poked out from behind a tree
Vali's back faced towards me
One quick strike is all I need
To finish off Sugriva's deed
Is this right? Should I kill?
To me, there's no ill will.
Once Sugriva is back as he king
He has promised to help find my Queen
Oh Sita! This burden, I am willing to bare
For you to lose your youth to this, is simply just not fair.
One deep breath to center me
And one the count of three:
One, Two, Three...
Thump.
I never thought I would reach so low,
This will be my only woe.....
 |
| Source: Tree Hugger |
Author's Note: So, I wanted to give Rama more context in this. This moment was very controversial for his character, so I wanted to take a deeper dive into what he was feeling. Was there hesitation? Was there regret? His character is made out to be so pure, but anything can happen as he's grieving for the return of Sita.
Hi Ida! I love the route you went with this story! I haven't seen anyone do a poem to retell a story yet and it's definitely creative and original. I like that you wanted to do a deeper character dive into Rama! In the original story, his character isn't fully fleshed out since he's modeled after the ideal hero archetype, but this poem gives him more humanity and empathy. I love that you were able to show some of his hesitation and fear in this moment since it's such a tense event in the stories too.
ReplyDeleteHey Ida! I like your use of a poem to show the conflict inside Rama as he made a decision in the story. I think it makes his character more complex and interesting. I thought the poem was written really well, and a good idea for the story lab. I wish I could write in this verse as well as you!
ReplyDeleteHey Ida,
ReplyDeleteI love the poetry vibes of this piece. I also really like how you wrote about this story. I read the Narayan version and he didn’t show a lot of anxiety from Rama about killing Vali. Rama actually did well to defend his actions, but this story was one of the first times where I questioned Rama’s perfect character. I also really love the picture of the tree. Its just as gnarly as this story and this character.