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Storybook Comment Wall

here is a link to my storybook, enjoy! :)



Image result for indian art
Early Indian Art. Source


Comments

  1. Hi Ida! Your introduction was great! It felt like it was the teaser of a new, blockbuster television show and it definitely piqued my interest and curiosity! Sita is a fascinating character in the Ramayana and I was disappointed to see that we didn't get to learn more about her character in the original story, but I hope we do in your storybook! I think Sita has a quiet strength, but we didn't really get to see her truly stand up for herself until the end of her story. Your concept is creative and cool! I'm interested to see other routes of Sita's story if she was protected by a goddess. I think it would be a good opportunity to see how Sita would develop as a person outside of Rama. Can't wait to see what you come up with!

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  2. Howdy Ida, hope all is well. You did a great job structuring this intro; it was really fun being introduced to the story in this way as it allows the reader to reframe the story, whilst still keeping the origin in mind. It’s a fun idea to spin that original story of Agni emerging with Sita, in a typical relevant god explaining her purity to another man, to a more modernized equivalent. The idea of having female deities emerge alongside Sita to jointly defend her honor to Rama is a fun spin, as it seems to bring the story up to speed in a fun way. I am curious to hear how this story will evolve via the presence of the female gods. Are you thinking of covering only that episode and having it delved into in more detail and expanded, or including it, but looking past it and showing the connection Sita has with these goddesses? Either way, exciting stuff, good luck!

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  3. Hi Ida!

    First of all, the layout of your story book is absolutely stunning! It is so pretty I find myself in a bit of a shock. I am horrible at this layout design and figuring out how to inset different graphics and everything, so it is really nice to see other storybooks that make it look so easy. The idea surrounding your whole story is so beautiful and it is fun to read empowering stories about iconic female figures. I wonder if there are any other female figures within the Indian Epics realm that could be included in these tails? It would be cool to see as many characters as possible. What if these women all had their own different stories you could tell and how they come together with Sita? It would be so awesome to read! I am excited to continue reading your future stories!!

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  4. Hi Ida! Your introduction is awesome. I loved the author's note, but it is really small and hard to read. I would suggest you increase the size! I also saw it is on every page. I do not know if you are aware of that, but just something to note. Umm but this idea is phenomenal! I think it is not only creative, but current and modern thinking. What if Sita was supported by strong women? When reading the Ramayana I could not help but wish Sita would just stand up and tell Rama to get in line haha. If someone did not 100% trust me after walking through a fire, I would just keep walking out the door. Sita's character really tells us a lot about who she is and the culture. With that said, I am excited to see you challenge it with other characters. I cannot wait to keep reading this. It is a great spin and I have so many questions. Well done

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  5. Hi Ida!
    I love your introduction. I think there were some grammatical errors. You can definitely catch them by just reading your story out loud. I am just a bit confused by the beginning. What is Chaya Sita? Did I just miss it when reading the Ramayana? I love the section that is brown. The layout looked so great and very aesthetically pleasing. Also, I agree with you about what you said in your author's note! Why is Rama the hero of the story? I definitely think Sita was. She risked a lot to be with Rama and she is barely even talked about. I love the Druga story and how at the end, she fought Rama! What a twist! I am guessing they didn't get back together huh. Rama was probably too scared or embarrassed to be with her. Sita doesn't need a man though, but doesn't Rama need a predecessor? Some things to think about!
    Ready for updates.

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  6. Hello Ida!

    I just read your intro and I’m excited to read your other works. I appreciate your idea of empowering women by including Sita and those Goddesses. In my recent story, I used Ganga as well. Check my story out and see how I incorporated her; maybe it’ll give you some inspiration. Anyways, for starters, the first paragraph of your intro kind of confused me. I wasn’t sure of what was going on. After I read a couple times over, I kind of understood then. Also, I’m not sure who Chaya Sita is. I might’ve missed it somewhere in your writing or I probably just don’t remember it from the original story. I also liked how you included those three elements. I’m a huge fan of the basic elements and it adds such a natural vibe to the overall story. After reading the fight, I think there are some details that could make your story stronger. Rama and Sita are supposed to be in love and after reading Rama’s story, I know that he’s a calm and level-headed person. He doesn’t resort to fighting unless provoked. So when he is faced with Sita, I think you should describe how Rama felt battling Sita. I assume Rama would feel torn apart. Also, it’d be cool to add some more dialogue between Rama and Sita during their battle. Moments where Rama is begging Sita to stop yet Sita continues to fight him would show how serious Sita is about standing up for herself; dialogue would further develop the characters. Overall, great story and keep it up.

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  7. Hey Ida,
    I really like you topic for you project!! Just reading the home page has me very intrigued to continue on. Your introduction is very good at drawing the reader in. The section with the question about what if she emerged with a goddess is super strong and empowering. I think your layout in your intro page is a great way to draw the eye and emphasize what your project is really about. I also really liked your author's note in your intro to fully explain why doing this is so important to you. The Durga story was written so well. I liked that it was mostly dialogue and was easy to understand and even imagine what was happening. When you had Rama and Sita start fighting, I was shocked at first, but how you wrote the story, by letting us hear Sita's inner thoughts, really helped me understand the internal struggle Sita had and how strong you made her character. I also really liked the Saraswati story. The plot twists and differences from the original story to your stories are done seamlessly have your fighting and rooting for Sita to get what she deserves. Overall, I really enjoyed your project and can't wait to read Ganga's story!

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  8. Hi Ida! I love the inspiration for your project! The world could always use some more feminine power. Your introduction did a good job of giving a recap for those of us who have previously read the stories, but a quick mention of who each of the characters is would be helpful for anyone who wanders over from the myth and folklore class. I especially liked the emphasis you out on the "But Wait!" section. The change in background color was a nice touch! Your first story, featuring Durga, is very well written. The only critique I would have is that Sita has shown very little combat skills previously compared the Rama, who is a great warrior. I would recommend leaning into the use of the celestial weapons a little harder. Was Sita granted the skills by Durga along with the weapons? Were the weapons fighting on their own? Did Durga project herself into Sita's body to ensure she would win? Your second story is just as good. I appreciate that you chose to preserve Sita's compassion. Other than a few minor typos, I think this one really works! I'm super excited to see how Ganga's story comes out. Great work!

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